Chapter 23.

On Thursday, God willing I will be celebrating 24 years of life. Before I look into my goals for 24 I would like to look back at 23. A year of so many accomplishments and great lost. 23 started wild, to say the least. Moet bottle and Hennessy bottle in my hand, at the same damn time. I was off the shitzzles. It was a great birthday celebration that led to a rough actual birthday.

Lesson #1 of 23: Don’t drink the day before your birthday unless you’re trying to be sick on your actual birthday. Since May 15th, 2018 the only thing I drink is maybe a glass of wine at dinner. Yea my friends hate me, mainly Chaz. He can’t accept I’m a sober woman. I can’t blame him we use to drink Thursday to Sunday at school.

But anyways, 23. Without knowing it I celebrated my last birthday with my grandfather. My grandfather always made it his mission to spend my birthdays with me. It was honestly the best present I’d receive every year. His presence. Giving up my room for his stay meant nothing because I had him there and it’s what mattered. Shortly in November I lost him. And you’d think losing my grandma at 22 was enough. For the last two years I’ve lost the most important people in my life after my mother.

23 brought an amazing summer full of new friends, baseball and endless hours of work at the stadium. At 23 I learned to pull tarp on a field and low key felt like I could apply to be grounds crew at Yankee stadium. That experienced humbled me, and made me a team player for sure. In my career path it also brought me a great new experienced. I got hired to work at one of the greatest teams ever, FC BARCELONA. It’s been 8 months and though it has had it’s ups and down I’m very grateful. I’ve been able to meet so many more people. I kind of been learning a new language “Catalan”. I got to go to Barcelona, what a city! I totally recommend whoever has a chance to go. I launched this project! My blog!!! I finally let it rip, and what an amazing decision.

My Jordan Year, I always wanted to be 23 it was my dream age. Just always seemed like the perfect age. Old enough to know better, young enough to not care type thing. Losing my grandfather who to me was my father was a terrible hit. I have been juggling depression on and off for months. I’ve been seeking ways to help myself in understanding that great losses always teach us something. As much as one wants to accept a lost so close, it’s hard, fucking hard. This year had great moments, many days of laughter and celebration. It became a dark year fast. Slowly I’ve been trying to bring light back to my life. The biggest lesson I learned this year is that we have the control to change the course of each day. The attitude at the beginning of the day made all that of a difference. This year taught me that pain is meant to be felt. That pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.

So I wrap it up saying this…. Much like 22, my 23rd chapter came with losses but amazing self accomplishments. It was a chapter of some boy stories, some heartbreaks but most importantly of resiliency. If I can wish anything for 24 it would be health for my family and friends. Togetherness for my family. Healing for my heart and strength to keep fighting for my dreams.

I’m ready for 24, Happy New Years to me!