Friends: Who cross the line

“Men and women can’t be friends, never ends well” I’ve heard this statement so many times. People often question my friendships with my male friends all the time. Are they right to? Absofucking not. Are they still going to, yes!

Here is the thing I strongly believe two people of the opposite sex can be friends without any sexual intercourses. It can happen. Two people can build a relationship dear and tight solemnly built on a friendship. A man and a woman can have years of friendships and never have been sexually attracted to one another. That is totally possible.

Over the years I have been known personally to have many guy friends. For me it was easy, I’ve always been much of a tomboy. I’m into sports, cars, I enjoy a football catch outside and I’m not scared to get down and dirty. I’m not really into drama and I rather hash things out and keep it pushing much like a guy.

With that being said I do admit that yes, I have slept with a friend. So this is where I sound like a hypocrite, or at least you think I do. But no. I said people can be friends but I never said complicated scenarios wouldn’t happen. Things always happen.

I know from my personal experience that having sex with your friend can complicate things. The friendship does change. At least for me it changed for a few months. Our communication was not the same. We barely spoke for almost two months. It was a time where I honestly did not know how to start a conversation. Was our friendship done? What’s going through his head? Was the sex not good? These were legit the questions in my head.

All of a sudden we just spoke one day. We discussed what happened, we made a few jokes  about it and kept it pushing. I knew our friendship meant more to both of us than the casual sex thing. Now we joke around about it all the time. It’s funny now because it was something that had to happen for us to realize that our friendship meant more. If you were to ask me about our friendship now I would say were better than ever, and I can firmly say he feels the same.

Unfortunately this isn’t the case for everyone. Sometimes when two friends have sex one ends up having deeper feelings than the sex. The friendship starts getting complicated because the other person might not feel the same and now they have to be honest about that. Honesty usually brings fault in the friendship because someone’s feelings are now involved.

Outside of my perspective I sought out to a male friend of mine to see his perspective. He has also slept with friends. He expressed to me that he realizes that sometimes people befriend each other with that preexisting desire to end up sleeping with each other. He also believes friendships do get tainted and nothing remains the same. Also pointed out that people either fall in love with each other or they end up sleeping together casually until they find someone else. Which to me is a very interesting point. So yes, people do this very often. They stay friends, the friendship changes but they still end up sleeping with each other. Usually the conclusion to that story is you do this until you find someone who is boyfriend or girlfriend material and that “friendship” goes to shambles completely.

Sex between friends is not for everyone. I repeat, is not for everyone. If casual sex is something you have never done doing it with a friend is not the place to start. Sometimes people think because they have sex they’ll fall in love. Reality check: NEGATIVE. Unless your mentally aware of the two outcomes it’s best you stay away and just be friends with each other.

Xoxo, p$